Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
