Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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