Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
