so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
