It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
