Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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