Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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