I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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