It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
