so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
