we have pet lesbian snakes
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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