Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
