dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
