There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
