I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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