Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
