OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I faked an abortion last night.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
