I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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