how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
