BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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