I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
