Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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