Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
