I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
