I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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