I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize