handjob tips. give me some.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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