What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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