this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
