Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish I could teleport
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize