That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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