I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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