i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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