If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
