There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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