I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
