Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
