we have pet lesbian snakes
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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