yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
