How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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