white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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