Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
