so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
