i jhust puked up my retainher.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
