I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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