You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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