it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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