so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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