I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
