party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
