these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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