Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
