I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
